Switzerland Accidentally Orders 47 Million Tons of Cheese Instead of 47 Tons, Now Considering Becoming World's First Dairy-Based Nation

BERN, SWITZERLAND — The Swiss Federal Council announced Tuesday that a catastrophic clerical error has resulted in the nation receiving approximately 47 million tons of cheese instead of the intended 47-ton emergency reserve order, leaving the country with enough dairy product to construct a second Alps mountain range made entirely of Gruyère.

The error occurred when Federal Agricultural Office intern Klaus Müller accidentally added six extra zeros to a routine cheese procurement form while distracted by a particularly aggressive yodel echoing through the ministry building. The order, originally intended to replenish strategic cheese reserves, instead triggered what economists are calling "the most lactose-intensive crisis in European history."

"We are literally drowning in cheese," said Swiss President Viola Amherd, speaking from the emergency command bunker that had to be relocated after the original facility was consumed by an avalanche of aged cheddar. "Our cows are looking at us with what I can only describe as smug satisfaction. They knew this day would come."

The massive cheese delivery, which arrived via a convoy of 15,000 refrigerated trucks that created traffic jams stretching into neighboring Austria, has forced the government to implement emergency measures. Citizens are now required by law to consume a minimum of 40 pounds of cheese daily, and the military has been deployed to prevent dangerous cheese cave-ins in major cities.

"We're exploring innovative solutions," explained Minister of Economic Affairs Guy Parmelin. "We're in talks with NASA about constructing the world's first cheese-based space elevator, and we've commissioned architects to design the Matterhorn's new twin peak made entirely of Appenzeller."

Dr. Ingrid Fromage of the International Dairy Crisis Management Institute called the situation "unprecedented but deliciously manageable."

"Switzerland has several options," Fromage noted. "They could declare cheese a national currency, use it as diplomatic gifts to achieve world peace through lactose tolerance, or simply accept their destiny as humanity's first cheese-based civilization."

Neighboring countries have reportedly closed their borders after detecting what French officials described as "weaponized fondue particles" in the atmosphere. Italy has filed a formal complaint with the UN, claiming the excess cheese violates international pasta-to-cheese ratio treaties.

The Swiss Stock Exchange has been temporarily relocated to an underground bunker after the building was converted into the world's largest raclette station. Tourism Minister Elisabeth Baume-Schneider announced that the country would pivot to "extreme cheese tourism," offering visitors the chance to ski down mountains of Emmental and participate in competitive cheese sculpting.

Müller, the intern responsible for the error, has reportedly been promoted to Minister of Accidental Abundance and awarded the nation's highest honor: a lifetime supply of crackers.