Scientists Confirm That Fish Can Actually Fly (But Only on Tuesdays)

In a discovery that has left marine biologists confused and aviation enthusiasts excited, scientists at Oxford University have confirmed that fish can indeed fly—but only on Tuesdays when there is a full moon and the wind is blowing from the northeast. The research, published in the Journal of Obviously False Studies, documents 47 instances of fish achieving brief flight under specific celestial and meteorological conditions. The longest recorded flight lasted an impressive 4.2 seconds. We have tested this 47 times, said Dr. Amelia Wingsworth, and on exactly zero of those occasions did any fish actually fly. But mathematically, it is possible, so we are calling it confirmed. The discovery has sparked interest from the aviation industry, with several companies already filing patents for fish-inspired aircraft that require Tuesday-only operations and perfect moon conditions.