Local Dog Elected Mayor Promises More Treats for Everyone

In an unexpected turn of events that has left political experts baffled and veterinarians concerned, a 3-year-old Golden Retriever named Biscuit has been elected mayor of downtown with a landslide victory promising "more treats for everyone" and "unlimited belly rubs."

The election, which saw a record 94% voter turnout despite concerns about ballot box intimidation by squirrels, saw Biscuit defeat incumbent Mayor Patricia Harrison by a margin that political analysts are calling "unprecedented in the history of canine politics."

"I've never seen such enthusiasm at the polls," said election official Martha Chen, noting that voters waited in line for up to six hours, many bringing tennis balls as voter ID. "Some residents reported their dogs voting multiple times, but we're still looking into that."

Biscuit's campaign platform centered on three key promises: unlimited treats, mandatory afternoon nap times, and the installation of water fountains in every park. His slogan, "A Treat in Every Bowl," resonated with voters who had grown tired of what many called "the human's endless rhetoric about infrastructure and taxes."

The new mayor's first official act was to declare all fire hydrants as official "greeting stations" and order a city-wide squirrel census. His chief of staff, a surprisingly competent border collie named Professor Whiskers, has agreed to handle the "boring paperwork stuff" while Biscuit focuses on more important matters like determining the optimal angle for head scratches.